The long sad day is over. We all gathered at St. Mary's Cemetary at 12:00Noon. A big crew with all the aunts and uncles and as many of the neices and nephews who could get here. It rained a bit on the way to the cemetary, but stopped before we all got out of our cars, so though it was a bit cool it was not an unpleasant time to be spending gathered around the grave.

We were there perhaps an hour. Shawn's father in law was a gentle and knowledgeable shepherd for the service. He kept us on track and pointed out the goodness of God which will follow the Good Friday that we have felt this past week and the Holy Saturday that we experienced today. He reminded us of the legacy of Courtney's goodness to the misfortunate of this world, she was like a magnet and always kind to them. I read my little story and told some of my memories of Courtney and then finished with the Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem that George requested be read. I finished but made sure that Dick was right there, because I knew that when I was done, I would need to be held. I had practiced the poem a couple of times at home because it needed to be read correctly to convey his message. Then George placed Courtney in Grandpa's arms and added a few things that were important to her. Two collars from her favorite cats, a windcatcher that Betsy made her using a couple feathers from the famous chicken that she spent $700 to try to save and her Aggie ring from college that she was VERY proud of. I put in a birthday card. Those who wanted took a yellow rose from the plastic tub that was waiting there and placed them next to the grave. We all went directly to Randy's to celebrate Courtney with pizza and beer.

It is NOW almost 11:00 I got home about a half an hour ago. It is hard to say goodby to each other.

I had the most wonderful surprise, Jim stopped by to comfort me and to express his sympathies to George and Betsy on his way to see Michelle. That meant the world to me and SO much to them.

I went to church tonight as it seemed like a good idea. The choir was singing and for an hour noone really missed me as there were conversation groups all over the house. I was glad I went. We sang You Raise Me Up and another song from the Unity Festival with Jim Wilsing playing the penny whistle for Joan and Don Otto on their 50th anniversary. Joan was in tears (of joy). So I am super glad that I did go over.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there - I did not die.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there - I did not die.

Traditional

The above was on the prayer cards at my Dad's funeral. Courtney LOVED it and had several copies around her condominium. Randy read it for her today.

Tomorrow we will be fresh. Thank you all for your concern and prayers and love.

Mary

Today I went on a cooking frenzy. I had to do something to keep busy. As we will be eating at Randy's after the funeral, and Sunday is the Volunteer dinner at church, I made a big pot of chili for the guys and to enjoy part of next week too. I made carrot raison salad, cucumber salad, two pans of bars, (rhubarb and mint brownie) and the Kinert Spinach Noodl Casserole for dinner.

Michelle and Jim both got off work early today, so Michelle came up to spend the afternoon and evening with us (mainly Jim of course) they are watching movies downstairs. She passed another test, she likes the Kunert casserole.

It was beautiful for most of the day, though this afternoon it has become cloudy and a few raindrops are falling. George and Betsy and Nora and Leif arrived this afternoon. Stenn (Nora's son) and Shawn and Sara (George's son and wife) came too along with Sara's parents. Sara's Dad, Dwight, is going to conduct the graveside service for us.

It is good for all of us to be together and we are glad that they brought Courtney home to us. All the people do tire Mother, is is so important fo us all to be here, despite that.

I saw the workers getting ready for tomorrow night's spaghetti dinner fundraiser for St. Mary School, so I went over and gave the tickets that Dick and I had purchased to my friend Cindy to see if she could find someone who could use them as we will not be able to go. Cindy said that she would give one to her sister who is coming and planned to buy a ticket but is on rent assistance and this would be a nice surprise. Perhaps they can find another person who has a need.

Cadfael's reading for the day was thought provoking. "If I have guessed right, there is here a problem beyond my wit or yours to solve. I promise my endeavour. The ending is not mine, it belongs only to God. But what I can to, I will do."

Special

Mary

A beautiful sun shiny day. It was in the high 60s with a mild breeze wafting around. There had been rain last night and the streets were covered with worms. The robins should be very full tonight.

Dick and I went out to breakfast as usual on Thursdays, followed by the weekly grocery shopping spree. I cleaned the bathrooms when we got home. This afternoon, I went and picked up some groceries for Mother. George will stay with her while they are here and though she will not make any major meals, she really needed a few things in order to be able to supply breakfast and a lunch if necessary.

I also had to stop in church and replace one of the banners on the St. Francis Chapel wall with the Divine Mercy tapestry. Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday and my friend Esther, got permission to have the tapestry purchased and the Legion of Mary is celebrating a Holy Hour on Sunday in honor of the Divine Mercy. I thought I might need help but it was surpisingly easy to haul the ladder over there and switch the hangings.

Tomorrow, I am going to go on a baking and cooking frenzy. I will be making chili, spinach-noodle casserole and two pans of bars. The bars are for the gathering after the interment on Saturday and the meals are for Dick and Jim as I will not be here to prepare Saturday or Sunday meals.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "S"
in it?

I hope I sleep well tonight. I am VERY tired.

Love

Mary

Today was better. The weather was lovely. Chelsea, however, seemed to be tired on her walk. She kept sitting down about when we got to the end of the street and did not want to go the full distance. I did not make her either. She is getting old, after all, and should have some choice in the matter. And frankly, usually she is the one dragging me the last half mile or so.

We racked the second batch of wild grape, the one without the bananas in it, to the secondary fermentors. I have to remember to check the specific gravity tomorrow. It is the most beautiful color. A deep deep purple.

Tonight, Rocky Knoll put on a thank you dinner for the volunteers. I have helped throughout the year by going with the church group to play bingo with the residents. They alway have a nice dinner, give out cute party favors, lots of door prizes and have entertainment. This year the entertainment was a Celtic Harpist playing a wirestrung Celtic Harp. I could not understand the introduction. Then when I went to see about getting a tape or CD (which I knew I would have to send for because I didn't bring that kind of cash with me) Imagine my delight when I discovered that he is Jeff Pockat. I have a CD of his that I got almost 20 years ago from Heather in Wausau. She thought I would enjoy his music and lent me the tape. I did and eventually purchased one for myself and another one for a gift to Fr. Mike Moran who loved traditional Irish Music. He gave nice introductions to his music and played a lot from way back when, including two from Carolan.

A nice break. Tomorrow we begin again.

We are going to pool our money that would be used for flowers or such and donate in a lump sum to the Humane Society. They will then engrave Courtney's name on a glass door in the Cat Room. Kathy and I started to laugh as we remembered the when Courtney worked at the Shelter in Texas, Betsy used to say that her daughter worked in a Cat House.


Love

Mary

The weather was lovely today. The temps were in the mid to high 50s and we were out in it for a bit.

Dick and I went to the funeral of Wally Horvatinec, who worked in maintenance at the library for MANY years. Jim came also, because Wally was his boss for 14 years or more and Jim was very fond of him.

Then we drove out to St.Mary Cemetery so I could get a lay of the land as far as how the graves are situated in the Deeley area. On the way home we stopped at Walgreens to pick up a couple of prescriptions and went to Harry's Diner for lunch.

When I got home, I called George and told him all that I had found out and they finalized their plans for the interment on Saturday at noon. Courtney will rest right on top of her Grandpa Hutz Deeley's coffin, just about in his lap. That will be comforting to George and Betsey as she and Dad had a really close relationship. Courtney lived out of state, most of the time, but they wrote letters in between visits. It was special. Dad wrote a poem especially for her too.

You might enjoy it.

Courtney dear you make me happy
A joy, a cheer to your Grandpappy
Cute as a bug, I love your hug.
Pretty and sharp you'll always be
One thing I don't like, you are so far away
And I don't get to see you grow up every day.
But when you come here a thrill it's to me
To see that you are still as sweet as can be
So bigger or not what difference Really
To me you will still be my Courtney Deeley.

Now, we mainly have to wait. Such a sad time.

Til tomorrow

Mary

Went to Bible Study this morning. It is comforting to have a group of people who pray and study with one. When we have a need, we know that people are praying with and for us.

After we were done, I stopped at Mother's to visit with her and Jeff and Kathy who were there to help get her gardens ready for planting and the trash hauled off to the dump. It was a good day for them to be with her anyway. We are all rather numb about our Courtney. I ended up staying for lunch and Aunt Kathleen called while we were eating and came to stay for a while. I left at about 2:00 and came home.

I had a message from George when I got in so I returned that call right away. Betsy and George want Courtney buried here in St. Mary Cemetery, close to her Grandpa. Our Dad, her grandpa and Courtney did have a special bond. When she was a little girl and did not live close, they wrote letters to each other and had a wonderful communication. They would like to have the buriel on Saturday, if all goes well in Texas. I was able to get the information and will call George and Betsy tomorrow for their decision. I do want to stop at the cemetery to get a visual before I call him and confirm Mother's ideas. Maybe I can convince Dick to go out to breakfast with me tomorrow and we can take a swing by there.

Aside from that I sewed today. I made some progress on the Hand of God wall hanging that I am designing. That was a relaxing project and I also watched Walk the Line. I recommend that movie just for the music. I liked it a lot.

A friend is someone who knows
the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you
when you have forgotten
the words.

-- Unknown

Love

The sun will come up tomorrow and we will all be OK. We will remember the words for each other.


Mary

Last night the phone rang at 10:00PM. This is a bit unusual under any circumstances, but when I heard my brother George's voice, for some reason, I was thinking, perhaps Houston was in a different time zone. I now remember that it is not. However, the news that he called to tell me was heartbreaking. Their daughter, Courtney, took her own life that morning. They had tried to call her all morning, then called work and though she WAS supposed to be there, had not showed up. So George and Betsy called the police to check and the police found her. Randy, Donna and I met at Mother's at about 9AM so someone would be with her when George called to tell her the news. It is heartbreaking and watching Mother hear the news was one of the most difficult.

We, Randy, Donna, their girls, Mother and myself all went to Mass. I asked Fr. Gene to ask the congregation for prayers, so a lot are being said for Courtney and for the family. We need them to get through this difficult acceptance. So you can help us out too. George told Randy that he should hug all three of his girls and then go back and hug them again.

The rest of Easter and I am exhausted. Jim picked up his girlfriend, Michelle, and she spent the afternoon and had dinner with us and Bobbie and Bill. I guess menitoned that she was coming yesterday, but just in case you just tuned in.

Michelle is fun, charming and lovely. We had a wonderful time and hope to spend more time with her in the future. Dick even gave her his chocolate bunny.

Jim, Michelle and I went out to Rhine to shoot in mid afternoon. Michelle chose to just watch, but I think she will join us the next time. She did like the club and the people she met. Not too many as Easter was a dud for business. Only about a dozen people, including us, and all were members who could have come anyway.

My first target was a dud again, only a 36, the other two were better 52 and 62 so I think from now on, I will shoot a practice target. (Then it will probably be my best one but we have to try.) I also shot a round of trap with Krunch as the Falls Club will start their league sometime in May and if Rosalee will shoot with me I would like to try again. Remember, I was Most Improved the last league there.

Today I only got a 14 in trap today, but after a whole winter of not shooting, I figure it will only improve. I was not following through - Need to reestablish my rythum.

The meal turned out really good. I will be reheating different combinations all week.

It is now time to call it a day. Remember our sweet Courtney and my brother and Betsy in your prayers. They need SO much comforting.



Love and Happy Easter


Mary